Tim FerrissElizabeth Gilbert on The Hidden Expectations That Hurt Our Relationships
Tim Ferriss
A poem about approaching others 0:00
Elizabeth Gilbert shares lines from a Celtic poem of approach, once spoken when meeting new people or entering another tribe's territory. It includes the phrase, I have no cherished outcome, meaning you arrive without demands or expectations of how the encounter should go.
Easier with friends than lovers 1:00
She tries to live by that phrase with friends, noticing resentment often reveals a hidden expectation she did not admit to having. In romantic relationships she says she holds a long list of cherished outcomes and struggles to bring the same undefended, expectation-free heart she manages with friends, whom she now considers the true loves of her life.
Being single removes the blame 3:00
Five years of being single and celibate taught her that moods and depressions are like weather systems, not caused by a partner. In relationships she used to credit or blame partners for how she felt, and she admits romantic relationships should come with a warning.
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